Cannot Sleep....

So it is 11:41pm as I type and my wife and daughter are both fast asleep as for me, well I am obviously not! Which is kinda new for me as I usally do not have too much trouble getting to sleep. The reason may be that tomorrow is my Papa's funeral, and I am to give the Eulogy. I have never before had a close relative die, the closest person I had die to me before my papa was my friend Billy who killed himself 3 years ago. Death is funny, we all seem to be heading for it, but yet in our own flesh we try to deny its inevitability, we get surgery so we stay young, we make sure we eat right and get pills to help us feel like we are 20 years old still even though we are 60. Why is it that we do so?? Could it be not so much the actual dying part, but the part that comes after?? Could we all realize that on our own once we die we will face a Holy God and be held accountable for our deeds and righteousness and if we do not match up with His Holy standards we are then judged and sent to an eternal punishment?? I am a Christian and I do believe in Hell and Do believe I deserve it, but also believe that when I die I will be judged on someone else's righteousness and deeds and that someone else is Jesus Christ! He took on my sin,my deeds that were like filthy rags to God and recieved the punishment due, and gave me His standing as righteous before God, what a humbling thought. I stand amazed at God's love in Christ Jesus daily, although I confess I do not do so nearly enough and pray for a more passionate heart and a more biblical mind to know the depths, heights and widths of God's Love.