This question is not simply limited to a church service. It could apply to a presentation, a board meeting, or any situation in which a silent audience is expected. In such an event, how do you open the plastic wrapper on a peppermint, for example, without causing undue distraction? I see at least four options:

  1. Gradually unfurl the wrapper, timing each crinkle to match times of greater volume in the speaker’s presentation.
  2. Cough very forcefully and loosen the wrapper all in one motion. You will draw attention to yourself, but it will be directed away from your fumbling hands and may even be mingled with some momentary pity.
  3. Bank all your hope on the fleeting short-term memory of those around you and get it over with as quickly as you can.
  4. Petition candy companies to wrap their products in cloth.

Which do you prefer? Do you have any other ideas?